His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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