I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
