i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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