No awkward lesbian experiences without me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
