But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
