Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
