he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
