So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
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Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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