Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
