@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
