You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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