wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
