how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.