Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
