Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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