Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
