why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
