Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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