I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
