R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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