the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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