My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
