my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize