New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
