I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
