I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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