oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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