I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
