I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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