Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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