Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
