For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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