i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
