So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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