I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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