SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
