Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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