He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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