You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
