She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
