Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
