if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
