So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
