I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
