Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
