Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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