Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
