We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
