THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
