It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
