I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
