I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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