I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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