I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
