It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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