I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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