yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
