i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
