you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
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Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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