I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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