So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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