her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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