I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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