My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
