"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
