I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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